


run to you (지금 널 찾아가고 있어)

by howoozidan



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Dreams vs. Reality, Dreamsharing, Drinking, Fate & Destiny, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, artstudent!jeonghan, bandmember!joshua, wonshuachan are brothers, wonwoo is older than joshua
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-01-14 22:30:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18485740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howoozidan/pseuds/howoozidan
Summary: Legend says that once you turn 21, you get to share dreams with your soulmate. Unknowingly, most people forget these dreams whenever they wake up, making them unaware that they’ve already interacted. So what happens when Jeonghan remembers dreaming of Joshua?[fic on hiatus]





	1. until i arrive

“Since you're the designated driver for tonight, you’re getting the soda.” Jihoon held up two red cups in both hands, handing one to Jeonghan.

Jeonghan muttered a thank you and leaned over the wall that separates the living room from the kitchen. Over the blaring party music, he glanced at his watch: 9:35 PM.

“Don’t get your hopes up, we just got here,” Jihoon chuckled, taking a sip from his drink.

“And I already feel like leaving,” Jeonghan sighed.

They were at a New Year’s Eve party at Soonyoung’s frat house. Jeonghan would’ve said no and made up an alibi that kept him far away from any of Soonyoung’s parties since they usually ended up with the cops at the front door. When Soonyoung had invited them over, convincing them it was a small gathering between friends, Jeonghan already knew it wasn't. Still, Jihoon thought they should give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Hey, you made it!” Soonyoung hollered from the crowded living room, making his way to the kitchen. “I thought you guys were gonna ditch out on me again,” he slurred slightly. Judging by his flushed cheeks, he obviously had one too many to drink already.

“You know what? I’m never trusting you again,” Jihoon said. “You said it was a small gathering, not a full house party.”

Soonyoung pouted. “Because I knew you weren’t going if I told you the truth! Besides, it’s not completely a lie. It _was_ small. For the first 15 minutes.”

“You’re unbelievable.” Jihoon rolled his eyes and attempted to push past Soonyoung, except that the other gripped onto his hands teasingly against his chest. “Let go or I’m gonna be forced to headbutt you.”

“You’re mad at me again?” Soonyoung cooed at him.

“Don’t make me do it, you know I’m actually going to.”

“No, you won’t. You’re fully aware I have a competition in 2 days and you’re not that heartless.”

“Oh, I would.”

“Oh, you wouldn't. He wouldn't. Right, Jeonghan?”

The two of them turned to where Jeonghan’s spot was, except that he wasn’t there anymore. Jihoon squirmed his hand away from Soonyoung’s grasp. “Great, now you drove him away.”

Soonyoung scoffed. “Me?! You were the one flirting with me, I wasn’t even gripping you that hard!”

“Shut up.”

Soonyoung headed over to the backdoor kitchen while Jihoon scanned the living room. Jeonghan wasn’t anywhere in sight. Jihoon picked up his phone, dialing his number. He moved past the crowded space, signaling to Soonyoung that he’s going to look for him outside.

When Jeonghan failed to pick up, Jihoon tried to hide the fact that he’s getting worried. After all, he shouldn’t be. They were capable adults. But Jeonghan did have a habit of running away from things and given that he had the car keys with him, it wasn’t unlikely he drove off.

Once Jihoon reaches the front door, he swung it open to find Jeonghan sitting on the steps of the porch, swirling the cup of soda in his hand. He looked up at Jihoon.

Jihoon sighed in relief. “Don’t do that. Ever.”

“Sorry,” Jeonghan muttered. “You guys seemed pretty into it.”

Jihoon walked up to him and Jeonghan scooted over to give him enough space to sit down beside him. “You know how Soonyoung is, he enjoys getting on my nerves.”

“I know.”

The front door flung open to a frantic Soonyoung, shouting, “I checked upstairs! He isn’t– Oh.”

Jihoon looked back over at Jeonghan. “You know, if you feel like going home, we can.”

Jeonghan shook his head reassuringly. “No, it’s fine. It's just kinda suffocating inside, so I needed the air.”

“Well, don’t stay there. More people are coming in and they might end up giving you spare change if you keep sulking there,” Soonyoung teased. He grinned back at a glaring Jihoon and a smirking Jeonghan in response. “Come on. I know just the spot.”

Soonyoung went back inside the house, leading them upstairs, away from the crowded living room. They moved past tipsy couples stumbling to get inside spare rooms and Jeonghan heard Jihoon sigh in disappointment.

“Hey, in my defense, I wouldn't have agreed to this place being a sex house. It's Dongmin's call,” explained Soonyoung.

Jihoon frowned. “I didn't say anything.”

“But you were thinking about it.” Soonyoung opened a window, peeking his head out. He climbed out and looked back at the two of them. “Come on, it's empty.”

Jeonghan and Jihoon followed him out to the roof, the wind blowing against them as they sat down and leaned against the wall. It suddenly made Jeonghan aware just how underdressed he is for not bringing more than a cardigan. Still, he figured it's better than being cramped down at the living room.

“Hang in there, Jeonghan. It’ll be New Year in less than four hours.” Soonyoung said, patting his shoulder.

Jeonghan never has been the most social butterfly in their university, but tonight, he's been a lot more quiet than usual. Jihoon noticed this weeks before the Christmas break, but he didn’t bother to ask. Jeonghan preferred it that way though, so Jihoon just assumed it was something that had to do with back home. And like the best friend that he was, he constantly dragged Jeonghan outside his dorm– including to this New Year’s Eve party.

Soonyoung suddenly lit up excitedly, shifting from his seat to face both of them. “Hey, has it ever occurred to you guys that we’re turning 22 this year? Then we’ll be graduating?”

“You won’t be graduating this year if you fall to your death right now. Don’t sit like that.” Jeonghan grabbed hold of Soonyoung’s arm and pulled him to lean back.

“Speaking of,” Jihoon said, zipping his jacket completely. “Aren't you practically failing calculus? Or was it anatomy?”

“Philosophy,” Soonyoung said under his breath. Jeonghan raised his eyebrow at him. He remembered Soonyoung calling him months ago, sobbing on the phone over the same course subject. Jeonghan had to sit him down at the university library for four hours, discussing theorists in sentences that can’t be too much for Soonyoung's short attention span. “But I'm learning on my own, I swear!” He said quickly before Jeonghan could say something.

“That's what you said the last time I checked up on you, though,” Jeonghan pointed.

“No, really! Have you heard about soulbonding?”

Jeonghan furrowed his brows. “What have you been reading?”

“It's this theory about how when a person turns 21, they get to meet the person they'd be bonded with for life. But it happens really discreetly though. Usually, it manifests in dreams or—”

Jihoon snorted, “Dreams? Which part of the internet have you been lurking? Tumblr?”

“Hey, just because it's from the internet doesn't mean it's complete bullshit.”

“Please. You're too gullible for it.”

Soonyoung looked at Jeonghan in disbelief. “How do you stand him?”

Jeonghan shook his head, his story registering to him completely. “Wait. You said it manifests in dreams?”

Soonyoung dropped his mouth at him, feeling betrayed. “Were you not listening to anything I just said? Because that hurts my feelings. I trusted you'd pay more attention to me than him.”

Jihoon sighed, rubbing the headache out of him. “Jeonghan, please don't tell me you're buying into this.”

“I'm not,” Jeonghan said quickly. “I'm just… intrigued.”

“Right? I thought you'd be proud.” Soonyoung grinned. Having Jeonghan invested was enough to satisfy him. “That's about the only theory I finished reading completely without dissociating so that means something.”

“You mean from a thread you've read on Reddit?”

“When will you stop?”

“It's a legend, Soonyoung. A myth.” Jihoon shook his head, amused at his naivety. “I told you, you're too gullible for the internet. I’ve read the same thing online. It's one of those stupid 11:11 conspiracies where there aren't any grounds to prove it. Tell him it's a myth, Jeonghan. I'm not gonna convince him, but you can.”

Except that Jeonghan wasn't fully convinced either. He doesn't remember everything he dreamt of last night, as a matter of fact, the details were a bit hazy. But what he does remember is seeing a boy. Talking to him, to be exact, at one of the benches in an empty city park. He doesn't remember getting his name, but he remembers laughing with him. So what if Soonyoung was right? What if he met his soulmate in his dreams last night?

“Jeonghan. You're spacing out again.” Jihoon snapped his fingers in front of his face. Jeonghan blinked, shaking his head back to reality.

“Sorry. I… I was trying to remember if I had a dream last night.”

Jihoon shook his head, disappointed. “God, I can’t believe he has you fooled.”

Jeonghan shook the thought away. “As soon as class starts again, you’re coming back with me at that library,” he said, pointing a finger at Soonyoung who then started whining.

The night moved on pretty fast. The three of them started talking about their plans after the Christmas break. Soonyoung, a member of the university dance troupe, will get to represent his school for a city-wide dance competition held in the city’s most prestigious university, Seoul State. Jihoon didn’t get into detail about his current project but said he was working with a freelance singer that Seungkwan had recommended. As for Jeonghan, he didn’t want to admit it, but he was currently experiencing another art slump. He was fully aware he needed to get out of it fast if he wanted to submit his drawing portfolio in time for an internship opportunity that would make his resume at least a bit impressive.

When the new year finally came, the fireworks were at full display from where they were seated. They could hear the crowd downstairs hollering over the music and cheering from what they’re assuming are a bunch of couples making out.

The three of them clinked their empty red cups together as a short greeting to one another. “I don’t get your friends,” Jeonghan said with a yawn, slowly balancing himself up to stand.

“Me neither.” Soonyoung reached out to open the window and guided Jeonghan to step back inside the house. He followed suit.

“He thought being part of a frat meant vandalizing the city every midnight,” Jihoon snorted. Soonyoung chuckled, undeniable at the remark. He grabbed Jihoon’s hand and helped him out the roof.

“Well, we’re off. It was nice of you to invite us and hide us out somewhere away from your guests.” Jeonghan ruffled Soonyoung’s hair, amused at how sleepy he looked but still managing to stick around with them when he could’ve clearly crashed when he wanted to.

“They were Dongmin’s guests,” Soonyoung muttered, fixing his hair. “You sure you guys don’t wanna crash? There’s plenty of spare rooms here, you don’t have to drive so late.”

Jihoon laughed. “No way. Do you guys even disinfect those?”

“It’s okay, I didn’t drink,” Jeonghan reassured Soonyoung before another catfight ensued between the two of them. “We’ll catch up with you after the school break, okay? Don’t get hurt. You still have a competition.”

“I won’t. Come on, I’ll show you guys out.”

As soon as they get to Jeonghan’s car, it took them 10 more minutes to convince a stubborn Soonyoung that they didn’t have to stay the night. Jihoon knocked himself out completely on the passenger seat and Jeonghan drove silently back to their dorm. In a moment alone with his thoughts, Jeonghan lingered about his dream the night before. He wondered if he would still see the boy tonight, and if he does, does that mean he’s found the person he’s soulbonding with?

Once they got back to their dorm, Jihoon zombied to his bed, no longer bothering to change from his jeans. Jeonghan laid on his back, staring at the ceiling from his bed. He could still hear the faint sounds of fireworks from outside, making it harder for him to doze off. He forced his eyes shut, hoping that he could trick his mind asleep. Before he knew it, he already was.

🌠🌠🌠

Lavenders. Jeonghan knew the scent was familiar. It was his favorite.

There’s a garden of lavenders not too far from where he’s standing. It’s eerily quiet, except for the sound of birds. He walked over to the purple garden and stooped down to smell them, feeling something sticking out his back pocket– it was a compass. He frowned. Jeonghan didn’t even know how to read one, but once the hand started turning back and forth, he knew that wasn’t normal.

“Hey!”

Jeonghan pivoted quickly, getting up on his feet.

It was the same boy from last night.

He was wearing a red oversized sweater and he was jogging towards Jeonghan’s direction. “Took you long enough.”

“You were waiting for me?”

“Not really. I was looking for you though. I had to practically run that entire field just to get here.” Jeonghan studied him. He didn’t look far from his age.

“Have we met before?” Jeonghan asked. Of course, they met before. He just wanted to know he isn’t turning insane.

“What is this? 20 questions?” the boy snorted. “Jeonghan.” Jeonghan froze. So they exchanged names before. He mentally scanned his memory for a response, except he didn’t really have a clue. “It’s okay, I never gave you mine,” the boy interrupted his thoughts as if hearing them. “It’s Joshua.”

“Joshua,” Jeonghan echoed.

“Write it down before I quiz you again,” he teased, a smile creeping through his mouth.

“I don’t really understand what’s going on.”

“Well, for one. I think I figured out what the compass is for. We were both wondering about it the last time.” Joshua reached out to grab for his own and walked closer to him. It was the same kind Jeonghan has, and his magnetic needle kept spinning back and forth like crazy. “I think it does that when we’ve found each other.”

Jeonghan shook his head. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“Nothing’s supposed to, I guess.” Joshua shrugged. “After all, it _is_ a dream.” He shoved the compass back to his pocket. He looked over and jogged to a nearby bleacher. It was the same bench that appeared in Jeonghan’s first dream with him.

“How come we’re both fully aware this is a dream, yet we still won’t wake up?” he asked, catching up to Joshua as the other boy lifted both legs up to the seat.

“Do _you_ want to wake up?” Joshua asked. Jeonghan didn’t respond. Instead, he sat down beside him, legs dangling over the air. “I don’t know, I kinda like it here. It’s… a lot quieter than real life, I guess.”

Jeonghan knew exactly what he meant And for a fact, he wasn’t entirely against it either. Sure it was nice having Soonyoung and Jihoon with him around. They’d always give him the inspiration in having something to draw, thanks to both of their most random arguments. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder why this boy has appeared in his dreams two times in a row. “By any chance…” he spoke up. “Has it been your birthday recently?”

Joshua looked shocked for a second. Jeonghan was half hoping he’d say no and that this was all a mistake. A coincidence. “Yeah. Last night, actually. I just turned 21. Why? Is it your birthday or something?”

Joshua turned 21 last night. The exact same night he started appearing in Jeonghan’s dreams. “I turned 21 months ago.” Jeonghan shook his head.

“What are you getting at?”

He couldn’t help but hear Soonyoung’s voice echo through his mind. _“It's this theory about how when a person turns 21, they get to meet the person they'd be bonded with for life. But it happens really discreetly though. Usually, it manifests in dreams….”_

So it wasn’t made up after all. Everything was adding up. It was all making sense.

“I think…” Jeonghan started, then realizing that maybe spilling it to him directly would freak him out. So he chose his words carefully. “I think there’s a reason I’m seeing you in my dreams. The same reason you’re seeing me in yours.”

Joshua blinked at him. “You mean… you’re a real person?”

“I’m pretty sure I am.” Jeonghan shrugged.

“I’ve never met you before though.”

“Neither have I.”

“So how come we both know what each other looks like?”

“You said it yourself, nothing’s supposed to make sense in dreams.”

Joshua chuckled. “That’s funny.”

“Haven’t you wondered why you’ve seen me twice?”

🌠🌠🌠

“Jeonghan.”

He opened up his eyes groggily. Jihoon was hovering over his face, shaking him awake. He groaned, shifting from his side and shutting his eyes again. “I was sleeping.”

"Jeonghan, wake up. Soonyoung’s in the hospital.”

Jihoon’s words sent Jeonghan up from his bed. “He’s what?”

“Alcohol poisoning. His fratmates made him drink the entire keg when we left. This morning he’s been puking and they found him passed out on the toilet.” Jihoon changed into their campus hoodie and threw Jeonghan a pair of jeans. “Come on.”

When they got to the campus hospital, they found Soonyoung in the ER– an IV hooked on his arm. He had his eyes half closed but the bags under it were apparent, and his lips were almost turning blue.

“Jesus, Soonyoung. I literally just asked you last night not to get hurt,” Jeonghan sighed as soon as they reached his bed.

Soonyoung managed to smile. “Aww, Jeonghan. Would you write my eulogy for me?”

“Am I allowed to punch him?” Jihoon gritted.

“Not funny,” Jeonghan warned Soonyoung. “Where are your friends?”

“They left as soon as I got hooked up.” Soonyoung tried to sit up, keeping his arm as still as possible.

“Some friends you got there,” Jihoon said sarcastically. “They called me saying they found you passed out on your own vomit in the toilet.”

“Yeah, about that…” Soonyoung rubbed his head. “It’s protocol, okay? I couldn’t disobey our president and he asked me to drink the leftovers instead of wasting it.”

“That’s abuse,” Jihoon said flatly.

“You don’t get it.”

“And I never will. You’re gonna end up killing yourself if you keep staying with them. Just rent your own dorm. Get a roommate.”

“He’s right, Soonyoung.” Jeonghan looked at him solemnly.

“Whatever. I’m not in an arguing mood,” Soonyoung mumbled, turning his back on them and lying on his side. “I never should’ve asked you two to come here in the first place. Just leave.”

Jihoon and Jeonghan looked at each other. Jihoon sighed, tilting his head towards the door. “I’m getting us something to eat. Look after him before he does something stupid again.”

Jeonghan nodded as Jihoon walked out of the room. He shut the curtains that separated the other beds and pulled a chair towards where Soonyoung was facing. His friend was pouting, avoiding his gaze.

He sighed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Soonyoung. You know we’re not leaving you alone like this.”

“It’s like everything I do is a mistake for you guys.” Jeonghan frowned at him, smacking his head. “Ow! I’m the one admitted in the ER here.”

“Exactly. So unless you want to stay here for another day, don’t rile me up.” Soonyoung rubbed the part of his head, pouting like a baby.

It’s times like these when Jeonghan couldn’t even begin to imagine how Jihoon stood Soonyoung. The two of his best friends have known each other ever since they were in high school. He met them both at college orientation when he walked into the auditorium halfway through the end of the University President’s speech. Freshmen snickered at him as he made his way to look for a vacant seat. Jihoon was the only one who made room for him since he had his bag placed in between him and Soonyoung (reason being Soonyoung couldn’t keep himself still and was too fidgety.) Since then, Jeonghan kind of clung to the two of them.

“So are you going to give me another lecture? Tell me now so I can have a reason to pass out again.”

“Actually I have a question. About the soulbonding theory you talked about last night.”

Soonyoung raised a brow at him. “Are you just pretending to be interested so you’d make it up for me?”

“Soonyoung, I’m serious.” He glanced back at the door to see if Jihoon was already on his way back. There was no way Jihoon would tolerate him for buying into Soonyoung’s soul-bonding theory. “Do you think a person’s just going to randomly start dreaming of the other?”

“No. They share dreams. So both of them have to be 21 for it to happen. Personally, I haven’t dreamt of mine yet, so I’m betting it’s someone younger than me.”

“Share dreams?”

“Yeah. So I guess two people would be having the exact same dream with the other person every night. That’s what I’ve read anyway. Why are you asking me this?”

He shook his head and mumbled, “No reason.”

“Okay?” Soonyoung looked at him confusedly. “Have you been dreaming of someone?”

“I…” he pondered for a split second. “This is going to sound completely ridiculous, but…”

“But…?”

He sighed. “I’ve dreamt of the same person two nights in a row.”

“Holy shit! Who is it?”

“That’s the thing! I don’t know who he is. I mean, he has a name and all but–”

“Holy shit.”

“Stop saying that. The staff can hear you.”

“Fuck.”

“That’s not any better.”

Soonyoung, who minutes ago was sinking on the ER bed, has propped himself up to a sitting position. The IV hooked to his arm was getting dragged carelessly, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Does he look good?”

“What? Why is that your concern?”

“So it’s real?”

“I mean, I don’t know. But it’s eerily familiar, isn’t it?”

“Now I can’t wait to sleep,” Soonyoung whistled. “So what happened?”

“Not much. The first night I dreamt of him, it was pretty hazy. He seemed to remember a lot of what happened though.”

“How about the second time?”

“It was cut short. Jihoon had to wake me up because of _your_ emergency.”

Soonyoung winced. “Yikes. I’m sorry.” Jeonghan looked back at the entrance door and saw Jihoon walking towards them– two plastic bags of takeout food on his hand. “Do you think you’d see him again tonight?”

Jihoon lifted the bags at them, looking way too excited to eat. “I hope so,” Jeonghan whispered to Soonyoung before waving back at Jihoon.

As soon as Soonyoung’s IV drip was finished, he was finally admitted out of the hospital. Jihoon and Jeonghan stayed in at their dorm throughout the day, with Jihoon catching up on sleep before the school break ends, and with Jeonghan on his sketchbook, roughly drawing the boy he kept seeing until he fell asleep.

🌠🌠🌠

“I was really hoping I’d see you again,” Joshua smiled at him.

Today they were in an unfamiliar place. For Jeonghan, at least. It was a theme park that had a lot of extreme rides. The weather was good and the place had a decent amount of visitors. It happened to be a manifestation of Joshua’s real-life experiences. A place he often went to when he was young.

“It’s Six Flags, we used to go here at least once a month. Me and my friends,” he explained, leaning over the railing. They were on top of the tower that gave the amusement park a full 360-degree view.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been here.”

“It’s in America. I lived there for a while. Then I moved here to Korea when my dad got relocated.”

Jeonghan looked at him, impressed. “Your Korean is pretty good. I never passed you up for an American.”

“Is that a compliment?” Joshua chuckled. “We spoke it a lot at home when we found out we were going to move out soon, me and my brothers. I was the slowest in picking it up, so thank you. If my older brother ever comes back to Seoul, you should meet him. He sounds like a natural.”

“Hang on. You’re from Seoul?”

“Are you?”

Jeonghan nodded. “Songpa University of Arts.”

Joshua’s eyes lit up. “An art student! I study at Seoul State. That’s an hour away, I think.”

“Do you think we should…”

“Meet? That would be cool, wouldn’t it?”

🌠🌠🌠

Jeonghan’s ringtone blared beside his pillow, jolting him awake. He groaned as he blinked his eyes to focus at the phone screen: Jihoon.

“You have to stop waking me up,” he croaked, answering the call.

 _“Jeonghan, it’s 9 AM. Don’t be a bum,”_ Jihoon said at the other line. _“I’m at the sound studio and I forgot my flash drive on my desk. Is it okay if you dropped it off here?”_

“No, it’s not.”

_“ Jeonghan, you’ve been slothing for a week now. It’s the least you could do. I would pick it up myself, but my colleague’s already here, so…”_

He sighed, realizing that he left his sketchbook beside him until he fell asleep last night. “I was in the middle of something important.”

_“A wet dream?”_

“Shut up.”

Jihoon laughed. _“You’re the best.”_

“You owe me.”

Jeonghan got dressed as quickly as he could, grabbing the flash drive from their desk to deliver to Jihoon. The sound studio was at the other end of campus, and considering their campus was 100 acres wide, it took a while for him to walk his way there. As soon as he got to Jihoon’s booth, he opened the door– not noticing the red light above it that meant a recording was on session.

“Here’s your stupid flash drive,” he said, walking towards Jihoon’s desk and handing it down.

Jihoon took off his headphones, “I was in the middle of something.”

“Well, you asked for it.” Jeonghan looked over at the person on the recording booth. The boy looked confused at the sudden halt of their session. Jeonghan gave a little halfhearted nod.

Jihoon pressed on the speaker. “Sorry, Seokmin. Let’s do a retake of that first verse. Step out here for a second.” He swiveled his hair to Jeonghan, grabbing the flash drive from the table. “Thank you.”

Seokmin nodded. He took off his headset and hung them on the mic stand. “Hello!” he greeted Jeonghan with a grin and reached out his hand. “You must be Jeonghan.”

“Hi,” Jeonghan said, shaking his hand. “And you must be the person Jihoon said he’s been working with.”

“Jeonghan, Seokmin. Seokmin, Jeonghan,” Jihoon mumbled, still seated on his chair as he waved his hand to both of them for their introductions. “Oh! Jeonghan, since you’re here. You have to hear this demo he recorded. I’ve worked with a lot of other vocalists for my tracks, but I’ve never heard anyone do it as good as him.”

“Ah,” Seokmin laughed shyly.

Jihoon plugged the flash drive on his computer, scanning through his files. “I forgot what I named that file, hang on…. Oh! Did you know he’s also in a band?”

“A band?” Jeonghan looked over at Seokmin, amused. He leaned a hand over the headrest of Jihoon’s chair. “Sounds fun.”

Seokmin nodded, stooping beside Jihoon to read through the computer files. “It is. I also sent Jihoon videos of some of our gigs. Just so he could have a feel of what our music is.”

“Oh, right! No, wait. Forget about the demo track, I can’t find it. I’ll let you watch this one instead. It’s their performance in Chateau Bistro. The music composition is really good, watch.” Jeonghan started chuckling at Jihoon’s excitement, whatever annoyance he had for him washing over. Jihoon always got giddy every time he talked about something he’s passionate with, and Jeonghan admired him for that. “It’s so good, Jeonghan. Listen to it.”

“I will if you just press play.”

Then Jihoon double clicked on the thumbnail. Jeonghan’s head slightly bopped to the beat as soon as it started playing. Until the camera slowly panned out. The smile on Jeonghan’s face slowly fell as it did. He was completely frozen because at the right side of the screen, where Seokmin sang in the middle, was no other than Joshua. Joshua in his dreams. Joshua in his sketchbook.

He started to feel his heart race, but neither Jihoon nor Seokmin noticed. He leaned closer at the computer screen, still in disbelief at the person playing the guitar. He was real. Well, he knew Joshua was real, but seeing him _this real_ freaked Jeonghan out.

“He’s a pretty good guitarist,” Jihoon pointed.

“He started the band, actually. He’s also a singer himself, but he prefers sticking with the guitar. His name’s–”

“Joshua,” Jeonghan suddenly spurted out. Jihoon and Seokmin looked back at him, equally confused.

“Do you know him?” Jihoon asked.

“I… We’ve... met.”

Seokmin’s eyes lit up. “Really? How?”

Jeonghan hesitated. “Six Flags.” Technically, he thought, he wasn’t lying.

“Whoa! What a small world! He’s a really cool guy, isn’t he? I’ll be sure to mention it. Oh, he’d be so thrilled.”

Suddenly, a continuous beep started sounding off on Jihoon’s computer. “Shoot, that’s the last call. We’ve only got an hour left. I guess we should pick up where we left off.”

“Okay, boss. Let me know which part we’re at.”

“Let’s do two more takes on that first verse. Then let’s see.” Jihoon closed the tabs on his computer, going back to his sound mixer as he waited for Seokmin to get ready. He glanced over at Jeonghan who was still frozen beside him. “I never knew you went to America?”

“I didn’t.”

“So what was that?”

Jeonghan looked over at Seokmin who already had his headphones on, giving them a thumbs up and a huge grin. “Your friend’s waiting for you.” Jihoon followed his eyes and nodded at Seokmin’s gesture. “I’ll see you back at the dorm.”

“Jeonghan,” Jihoon said, stopping him before he could leave. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine. Catch you later.”

 

Jeonghan had with him his laptop and his tablet. He did a rough sketch of the vicinity of the amusement park in his dreams before his memory would eat it away. It was the day after the New Year so the university library was starting to get more people than it had before the holidays.

In the middle of adding detail to his work, his phone started vibrating on the table.

**_Soonyoung [12:35 PM]_ **

_I’m almost there!!!!!!!!! :D_

**_Jeonghan [12:35 PM]_ **

_Ok. I’ll be here until I finish this._

**_Soonyoung [12:36 PM]_ **

_You’re finally off your art block?????_

**_Jeonghan [12:36 PM]_ **

_It’s a start_

**_Soonyoung [12:36 PM]_ **

_Wow!!!!!! Thank you Joshua >< _

**_Jeonghan [12:37 PM]_ **

_Stop_

It took exactly 15 minutes before Soonyoung started running towards his table, slamming his textbooks down from behind to surprise him.

“You looked so serious, I had to,” said Soonyoung when Jeonghan glared at him. “Can I see?” He stooped down to the laptop screen at eye level, squinting at the drawing. “Doesn’t look like anything to me.”

“Mine neither. I just saw this in my dream last night.”

“Oooh, so this again.”

“I need a favor,” Jeonghan said as Soonyoung pulled up a chair beside him. “Can you look up Six Flags for me? From a 360-view. I just need to know.”

Soonyoung hummed but looked it up anyway. He clicked on a photo and showed it to him. “Here.” When he glanced back at the drawing then back at his phone, his eyes widened. “Holy shit.”

“You have to stop saying that, the librarian already has you on watch.” Jeonghan grabbed the phone and started comparing at the differences. Except there weren’t any– apart from the obvious quick sketches.

“You’re telling me you’ve never been here, but you drew the exact placement of every building, every ride. Look! Even the pathways.”

“I told you, it’s… It’s something.” He turned to his bag, digging out his sketchbook. At first, he was hesitant to show Soonyoung the drawing he made of Joshua, but Soonyoung patiently waited for him to hand it over.

When he finally did, Soonyoung studied the face. Jeonghan wasn’t quite sure what he was thinking. It was always nerve-wracking for him whenever he showed his work to anyone, which he found ironic given that he was studying in an art school. It was _especially_ nerve-wracking when someone as loud as Soonyoung was being this quiet about it.

“Okay, you have to say something,” Jeonghan pleaded, grabbing the book from Soonyoung’s hands.

Soonyoung’s eyes blinked back at him, shaking his head. “Oh, sorry. It’s just… Wow. He has a face and all.”

“Well?”

“Well… you’re right. It _is_ something.”

“Please be more helpful.”

Soonyoung rubbed his head. “Have you tried asking to meet up with him?”

“Our conversations always lead up to that, but time moves a lot faster in dreams, it feels like seconds. I keep waking up before we even get to exchange anything. The most I got out of him was finding out he studies in Seoul State.”

“Seoul State!” Soonyoung exclaimed. The librarian had to hush him all the way from across the room. “Seoul State,” he repeated in a whisper. “I have a competition there in tomorrow. You should come. The chances of seeing him are probably against your odds, but at least you’re in the area.”

“This is where it gets freaky. Jihoon’s singer? He’s in a band with him. He’s real, Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung’s jaw dropped dramatically. “Please stop me from saying the H word.”

“If you say it again, we’re both getting kicked out.”

“It’s like the universe keeps trying to tell you something, Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan opened the pages of his book again, looking at the drawing he made and mentally compared it with the video he saw at Jihoon’s studio. It was the same black hair, the same dark, deep-set eyes, the same person. It was Joshua, he was sure of it.

“Well, look at the bright side. This Joshua guy finally got you off your art block. If anything, you should be thanking him.”

“I have to see him, right? We have to at least get to know each other in person.”

“Yeah, I mean, why not?” Soonyoung sighed, leaning back against the chair. “Man. When’s _my_ soulmate going to appear in my dreams?”


	2. i started running like my heart

Today was a manifestation of Jeonghan’s memories— they were at his campus field. It didn't take long for him to find Joshua near the field track, thanks to the compass. Joshua was also running towards him, waving with a huge smile on his face.

“Hey!”

“Do you want to meet up?” Jeonghan asked as soon as they were within talking distance. He didn't want to snap out of the dream before he could get the question out.

Joshua didn't hesitate. “Yes. I would love that.”

“My best friend's going to Seoul State tomorrow for a dance competition. I'll tag along if you're there.”

Joshua beamed. “That's perfect! I'm part of the intermission. I'm in a—”

“Band.” Joshua's eyes widened. “I know. I saw you. I mean, I met your friend and I found out he's in a band, then I saw you. It's too much of a coincidence, right? I really think we should see each other.”

“Wow,” was all Joshua managed to say. It really was too much to process. 

“I'm sorry if I'm talking too fast. I never know when I'm going to wake up.”

“No, I get it. You're right.” Joshua started fishing for his pockets. “We should really start dreaming of bringing a phone,” he chuckled.

Jeonghan started looking for his as well, but he was only left with the compass. “Well, at least we know what each other looks like. Right?”

“Yeah, just approach me after the set. Or I'll try to look for you in the crowd. That's always fun.”

“So I’ll see you?”

“So I'll see you.”

🌠🌠🌠

“You're worrying me.” Jihoon had knocked on his car door, asking him to unlock it from the passenger seat. 

“What? Why?” Jeonghan asked as soon as Jihoon stepped inside the car.

“You're not usually this eager to leave. Should I be scared?”

Jihoon had noticed Jeonghan's sudden perkiness ever since he woke up today. He raced for the shower, which he never really done before, and he was already waiting in his car even before Jihoon could finish getting ready.

“I'm fine,” Jeonghan laughed as he started the engine. “It's Soonyoung's big day.”

Jihoon squinted at him. “You never really cared though.” He clipped his seatbelt on.

“I'm just excited.” Of course, Jeonghan was excited. He was finally going to meet the person in his dreams today. Jihoon didn't need to know that part, at least.

“Me too. I hope they win. I mean, not just because he's my friend. But being held in Seoul State? That would really be something.”

“Yeah, it's a pretty impressive school.”

“Are you kidding me? It's intimidating. You remember Seokmin? The guy you met two days ago? He's from here. The workload's no joke, he kept telling me.”

He suddenly thought of Joshua. He must really be a diligent person, then. But Jeonghan could tell. The way he got to deduct so quickly how the compass in the dreams worked, how he mastered a language other than his native tongue, it was obvious he was smart.

As much as he wanted to bring this up to his best friend, he couldn't. Having suddenly blurted out his name as if they were old time friends was enough to raise Jihoon's suspicions, and for him to find out that Jeonghan even knows where he studies would get Jihoon digging for more information.

It took them at least an hour until they arrived at the place. “Okay, I take it back. The school's a bit of a showoff,” Jihoon muttered to him.

There were these grand LED lights that spelled out “Seoul State National Dance Competition” and had an entire marching band at the entrance of the stadium. Maybe Seoul State really had a reputation to uphold.

“I think all they need is a blimp,” Jeonghan joked. Jihoon gagged as a response.

Once inside, they managed to find two spare seats a bit further away from the stage. Jeonghan had already texted Soonyoung good luck, although he didn't get a response back. It was fine for him, though. For Jihoon, however, it wasn't.

“He hasn't even won yet and he's already acting all airheaded.” Jihoon frowned at his phone, hitting his keypad angrily while he typed another good luck message that ended with ‘You’re  _ not _ a celebrity!’.

“He's probably prepping, don't make him nervous,” Jeonghan scolded him. He scanned the people going back and forth the backstage, hoping he would catch a glance at Joshua, who was most likely hanging out at the back. “Do you think we're allowed to go backstage?”

“I don't think so. Why?”

“For Soonyoung,” he lied. He caught a person's head peek out the curtains, grinning at the front of the stage. It was Seokmin. “Hey, Seokmin's here.”

“What? Really?” Jihoon asked, surprised at first, then suddenly went, “Ah right. He mentioned his band's gig to me yesterday, it must've slipped my mind.” He shut off his phone then nudged Jeonghan. “That means your Joshua friend is here, too. Right?”

A shiver went down his spine. “I guess so.”

It didn't take long until the show finally started. Jeonghan didn't consider himself knowledgeable in dance, but he could tell they were definitely up against tough competition.

“Up next, Songpa University of Arts!” the announcer's voice echoed throughout the stadium.

Their fellow students who came to support their school cheered loudly across the crowd. Some even brought out handmade signs that had the dancers’ names glued on. Jihoon had his phone out to record him.

When Soonyoung performed, he stood out, even if he wasn't on center. His moves were swift and graceful, even if the dance was aggressive and intimidating. Jeonghan was in awe at his best friend. He couldn't be prouder.

When it finally ended, the crowd's roars erupted once more. Jihoon tugged on Jeonghan's sleeve. “Come on, we might get to sneak in backstage.”

“You said we weren't allowed to.”

“Intermission,” he pointed at the stage. The staff was already setting up the instruments. “Let's go.”

Jeonghan followed behind Jihoon. They both tried to act nonchalantly at best, and surprisingly it worked. They met with Soonyoung's team who were high fiving each other, sweating profusely. As soon as Soonyoung saw them, he beamed.

“Hey!” he waded his way through the crowd, coming face to face with his friends and hugging them tightly. Both of them grimaced at the sweat being transferred to them. “Well, what did you think?” he panted. 

“You look like a drenched chicken,” Jihoon said, pushing him away from him.

Jeonghan ruffled his hair. “You did really well.”

“Yeah? If we win this thing, we'll end up on the yearbook.”

Jihoon nodded. “I wouldn't be surprised if you received a cash incentive.”

The space was getting cramped and the stage director was already raising his voice, scolding those who snuck into the backstage for overcrowding the exits. Jihoon quickly tugged at Jeonghan for them to leave before they got caught, so he followed suit.

“Excuse me,” someone muttered behind Jeonghan.

Jeonghan scooted to make way. When he looked back to his surprise, it was no other than Joshua. He had with him his guitar case slung on his shoulder and a guitar pick on his mouth. By instinct, Jeonghan grabbed for his wrist.

“Hey!” he exclaimed, startling the boy.

Joshua took the pick off his mouth. “Oh, hi!”

“Hi…” was all Jeonghan managed to say back. He mentally cursed himself to get a grip. “Good luck up there.”

“Thanks,” Joshua said back quietly.

The stage director was walking towards them, double checking everyone's ID tags. Jeonghan had to say something before he got kicked out. “After your set, can I meet you here again?”

Joshua rubbed the back of his head. “I’m really sorry, but… Do I know you from somewhere?”

Jeonghan froze. Joshua didn't remember him. But it was him. He studied and studied his face, and there was no way it wasn't him.

“Joshua! Jeonghan!” They both look back to see Seokmin running towards them. “Hey, so you two met again!” Again. Seokmin nudged at Joshua, “He’s been telling me you guys met at–”

“No,” Jeonghan cut him off. “It's… I mistook him for someone else,” he shook his head. He could tell Joshua was confused as it is already.

“But you–”

“I was wrong. It’s my mistake, I’m sorry.” He looked at Joshua again, pained. “I'm sorry.”

“Oh. It was nice meeting you, though,” Joshua said with a small voice. He reached out his hand. “I’m Joshua, by the way.”

“Jeonghan,” he forced a smile, taking the boy's hand. It was the first time they ever touched, even in dreams. His hands were bigger than he thought, compared to him at least. His hands sunk at their subtle handshake.

Joshua let go and looked at him, apologetic. “I’m really sorry if you thought I was someone else. I wish I could help.”

He shook his head. “Please, don’t be. It was just me.”

“Sing Street! Standby! Five minutes,” the stage director shouted over at them, signaling with his hands.

“That's our call,” Seokmin let out a deep breath. He placed a hand on Jeonghan. “Tell Jihoon I said hi!” Jeonghan nodded, his eyes glued to his shoes. He could tell Joshua was still looking at him, but he couldn't look back. So he left instead.

At the end of the day, their school did win first place in the competition. It was supposed to be a moment to celebrate, but Jeonghan wasn't really in a celebratory mood.

Soonyoung raced up to them after his team had finally hugged it out and took pictures at the center stage. In total Soonyoung fashion, he basically threw himself at his friends, almost causing the three of them to stumble over. And to Jeonghan's surprise, Jihoon didn't give Soonyoung a beating for it but treated the two of them to a drink instead.

When they got to the bar, Jihoon told the two of them to find a vacant lounge while he ordered something. 

Jeonghan dragged Soonyoung to a spot, sitting himself down beside him. “He doesn’t know,” he said. 

Soonyoung looked at him, confused. “What?”

“It’s wrong. You were wrong.” He tried his best not to sound accusing, but his frustrations were getting the best of him.

“But– what? I don’t understand. I saw you talking to him before you left.”

“He didn’t even know me.”

“But he’s Joshua! _The_ Joshua!” Soonyoung's voice was rising that Jeonghan had to shush him down.

“What if he’s not?”

“Why else would you be dreaming of him?”

“I don’t know, Soonyoung. It’s… I don’t know.”

“You don't know what?” The two of the almost jump to their feet. It was Jihoon. He was in front of the two of them, closing his wallet with an annoyed look on his face. He knew he was being kept in the dark.

Jeonghan and Soonyoung exchanged glances. Soonyoung looked at him and nodded at Jihoon's direction as if to say _ ‘Well, he might as well find out.’  _ Jeonghan sighed. As much as he hated to admit it, Soonyoung was right. Jihoon had to know.

🌠🌠🌠

“Good set today. We should grab a drink before we don't see each other for the next 2 months.”

“You're my roommate, you're  _ all _ I see. Including your bare ass,” Joshua teased, trying to grab Seokmin's behind as the other shrieked.

The stadium was finally empty except for a few volunteer students who helped with the set-up stage.

“Ah, I can't. I have dinner with my boyfriend.” It was Jun, their keyboardist. He was fixing up the cord of his keyboard. “Maybe on the next set?”

Seungcheol walked up to them, rotating his shoulders with his drumsticks in hand. “Can't either. I already have a report due tomorrow. Crazy, right?”

“On the second day?” Seokmin said in disbelief.

“That's what I said! They're treating us like machines, it's not fair.”

“Studying in Seoul State is never fair,” Joshua muttered, shutting his guitar case and slinging it over his shoulder. “Thanks for the time, guys. Text me if someone offers us another gig.”

They waved goodbye to their bandmates, already heading their way back their own dorm. Seokmin was humming a tune beside Joshua, whose mind was occupied replaying the incident on his mind.

He wasn't really startled by the stranger suddenly grabbing him by the wrist, he got that a lot from the campus girls before and after every set. What shook him up was that there sounded like an agreement between the two of them to meet, which he didn't even remember.

“Hey… about that guy,” he finally spoke up.

Seokmin stopped humming. “Jeonghan? Yeah. That was weird.”

“How do you know him?”

“Remember that Jihoon guy from Songpa Arts that I was telling you about? He brought Jeonghan over at the studio to show a videotape of our gig. He even namedropped you, so I thought you two knew each other.”

“He namedropped me?”

“Yeah, he sounded really sure. Six Flags?”

Joshua stopped on his tracks. Six Flags. It felt like deja vu. That was exactly his dream last night, but he didn't remember any Jeonghan.

He shook his head. “That was ages ago. I haven't been there since I was 6.”

“Maybe he's your childhood friend or something. Someone you swore to meet before you happened to forget about it.”

“What? That's nuts.”

“Well, why else would you think he'd know you? And your name?”

“I… I'm not sure.”

“Does he at least look familiar?”

Joshua thought about this for a second. Jeonghan looked  _ really _ familiar. Except he couldn't point out exactly from where. “Yeah,” he whispered, almost to himself. “He does.”

"Then he really must be a long lost childhood friend. Don't sweat it."

He looked over at Seokmin who patted his back to cheer up. For argument's sake, Joshua smiled and nodded. He wasn't convinced, he knew there had to be something more.

When they got back to their dorm, Seokmin hurried to his laptop, scrolling through the audience’s reactions to their performance.

“This one girl from my Natural Sciences class is really into you,” Seokmin chuckled. “She keeps tweeting about how toned your arms are now.” 

Joshua rolled his eyes at him, shifting from his bed to avoid Seokmin's teasing remarks.

“Should I tell her you do push-ups every waking morning or is that TMI?”

“I'm gonna have to request for a dorm transfer if you keep doing that,” Joshua warned. He was joking, of course, but Seokmin's jokes were sometimes too much to bear. That includes today.

His phone started beeping continuously. He was sent scanned pictures by his older brother, Wonwoo, from their last Six Flags trip 15 years ago. 

**_Wonwoo [4:43 PM]_ ** **_  
_ ** _ [12 images attached] _

**_Wonwoo [4:43 PM]_ ** _  
_ _ There. Can you stop flooding my messages now? _

**_Joshua [4:44 PM]_ ** _  
_ _ Thank you, hyung! Miss you _

**_Wonwoo [4:44 PM]_ ** **_  
_ ** _ What are these for anyway? _

**_Joshua [4:46 PM]_ ** **_  
_ ** _ Nothing important _

**_Wonwoo [4:46 PM]_ ** _  
_ _ Wow I'm convinced _

**_Joshua [4:46 PM]_ ** **_  
_ ** _ Hahaha _

**_Wonwoo [4:50 PM]_ ** _  
_ _ How’s Chan? Tell him I said hi _

**_Joshua [4:50 PM]_ ** _  
_ _ Chan’s fine. He's applying for Seoul State next year, too. _

**_Wonwoo [4:52 PM]_ ** **_  
_ ** _ Have you briefed him that Seoul State is a pressure cooker disguised as a school? _

**_Joshua [4:52 PM]_ ** _  
_ _ No one warned me before, so there won't be a warning for him either _

**_Wonwoo [4:54 PM]_ ** _  
_ _ You’re evil _

**_Wonwoo [4:54 PM]_ ** _  
_ _ Btw don’t tell mom you and I still talk lol _

Joshua left his brother’s messages on read. Ever since Wonwoo had a fallout with their mom (technically, their stepmother), he never stepped foot into their house ever again. Even for Chuseok or any of their birthdays. Wonwoo still contacted his two dongsaengs but never attempted to reach out even to their dad. It was always a sensitive topic for Joshua, and it irritated him that Wonwoo took the subject matter lightly.

He shook the thought off and quickly opened the files, zooming in on the people behind his old grainy scanned photos, but no one resembled the boy he met today.

“What are you so serious about?” Seokmin asked, laughing. Joshua didn't notice that his face was already inches away from his phone.

He placed his phone down. “Who  _ is _ he?”

Seokmin's smile slowly faded, realizing Joshua must really be frustrated about this. “You're still hung up over Jeonghan, huh?”

“Should I go to him? Talk to him, maybe?”

Seokmin shrugged. “I mean, what's the harm in that?”

🌠🌠🌠

“ _ Don't _ talk to him.”

“But Jihoon—”

Jihoon snapped his head back at Soonyoung. “This is what happens when the two of you fools discuss things behind my back. Can you imagine how freaked out that guy must've been?”

“But Jeonghan  _ has _ to settle this with him! They have to talk about it!” Soonyoung whined.

“You've watched too many romcoms already, it's time to cut off your cable.”

Jeonghan was in between the two of them arguing that he basically had to hold both his hands up between them to stop.

“Okay, you two. That's enough,” Jeonghan sighed. “Jihoon's right, Soonyoung.”

“What?”

“I don't have to talk to him. At least, not for now.”

Jihoon nodded, relieved that he finally knocked some sense into his friend. “Listen. If a stranger walked up to me and physically grabbed me, claiming we should meet up at this hour, I would run. Call the police, even.”

Soonyoung looked over at Jeonghan and quietly said, “But you're not a stranger.”

Jeonghan looked away. He wasn't a stranger. At least, he thought he wasn't. “I am.”

🌠🌠🌠

In the dream, the breeze hit Jeonghan's face. He opened his eyes to find himself on a roof of someplace unfamiliar. He quickly fished out the compass on his pocket— it was unmoving. Maybe he was alone, he thought.

“What are you doing there?”

He hovered below the ground to see no other than Joshua, with his hands cupping his face to shield them from the sun rays. He also had his compass on his hand. Jeonghan looked back at his to see it tilting back and forth again.

“Wait up there,” Joshua told him as he climbed a nearby branch up to the roof. “Your school won,” he panted, finally making his way up beside Jeonghan.

When their knees touched, Jeonghan flinched, tugging his own together. “Yeah. I was there.”

Joshua must've noticed. He stayed quiet for a few seconds when Jeonghan tried to avoid his gaze. “You said you were going to meet up with me.”

Jeonghan looked at him, confused. He recalled Songpa Arts winning but not him. “I did. You didn't remember me.” It pained Jeonghan to say the words out loud.

“That can't be right.” Joshua frowned. “I was the one who remembered the first time we met here when  _ you _ didn't.”

“Yeah, but you can't remember me out… there.” He waved his hand weakly. Out there. In the real world.

“Have you tried smacking my head?”

This brought a smile to Jeonghan's face. “You know I'm not doing that.”

“Well, I might need it,” Joshua hummed. “Don't give up on me, though. I can be pretty stubborn.”

🌠🌠🌠

Jeonghan opened his eyes. For a moment he thought that Jihoon had cut off his sleep again, except that he was still sound asleep on his bed. He realized it must have been Joshua who woke up this time.

He stood up from his bed, Joshua's words lingering on his mind.  _ Don't give up on me, though. I can be pretty stubborn.  _ He was supposed to say that he wasn't planning to, but to be honest, he wasn't exactly sure how.

The days go by, and still, Joshua appeared on his dreams every night. In the real world though, Jeonghan never made another attempt to meet him. He often hung out at Jihoon's studio to hide from Soonyoung every time he tried to work at the library. Soonyoung had a tendency to ask him every 5 minutes how he and Joshua are doing and he figured he didn't need that right now.

Jeonghan walked in on Jihoon and Seokmin studying the LCD screen filled with random audio waves and humming different tunes. Neither of them heard him come in since they were both so fixated on the screen while they were wearing their headsets on.

He flung his bag down on the couch behind them and brought out his tablet. This time, he was sketching the sky, except that it wasn't bright like his first few dreams. For the past few days, he's been dreaming of night. The first night had a faint view of the northern lights. Jeonghan had never witnessed it before until then, and every dream progressed into a brighter and more vivid aurora borealis. 

Neither he nor Joshua knew what it meant. Whether the location is a manifestation of Joshua or his own memories, the dark sky remained the same. He did consider it a beautiful sight enough for him to include it in his art portfolio, so he chose to work on with it.

“Hey, I didn’t see you there.” Jeonghan looked up at Jihoon who swiveled his chair to face him.

“Whoa, deja vu,” Seokmin pointed at his laptop screen. “Joshua kept telling me he's been dreaming of the northern lights.”

Jeonghan felt a shiver run down his spine. He instinctively looked back at Jihoon who had his mouth open in surprise. “Oh,” was all Jeonghan managed to say. “I saw it in a documentary, so I thought I should draw it,” he lied.

“Either way it’s nice,” Seokmin reassured him. He turned over to Jihoon and said, “I hate to cut this short, but I still have a study group back at Seoul State this afternoon. I’ll come by next week?”

“Sounds great.”

“Thanks! I’ll see you two around.” Seokmin grabbed his backpack laid at the ground and waved them goodbye, leaving the studio.

Jihoon and Jeonghan sat in front of each other, unspeaking. Jeonghan gave him the ‘I told you so’ look and Jihoon sighed. 

“Now do you believe me?” he finally asked.

“I don’t know  _ what  _ to believe,” Jihoon muttered, turning back to face his desktop. He looked at the timer on the screen and saw they still had less than 5 minutes left before the room reservation ended.

Jeonghan stood up from the couch, hovering behind Jihoon who was searching up ‘Soulmate dreams’ on Google.

“Ah,” Jeonghan sighed mockingly. “You've become the very thing you swore to destroy.”

“Shut up.”

He laughed. “It’s no use, I’ve tried looking it up, and all I found were the same things Soonyoung did. And you were right, he did find it on Reddit.”

“This is my lowest point yet,” Jihoon hung his head. “I can't believe I'm starting to believe you."

Jeonghan shrugged. "Have you been seeing someone in your dreams?" Jihoon thought about it for a moment before shaking his head no. "So how come I have been?"

Before Jihoon could answer, the clock beeped, signaling the end of the session. Jihoon was a smart guy, but even Jeonghan knew he wouldn't know the answer to that. Jeonghan believed it was his curse to see beyond the subconscious. 

🌠🌠🌠

Dream state. Jeonghan woke up alone again like he always did here. He was sitting on the grass in the middle of a forest. None of it rang a bell to his memory so he thought it must be from Joshua’s manifestations.

He took out his compass. It was normal for them to look for each other for a while, but this time, it was taking them longer than usual to find each other. The hand of the compass was unmoving no matter how far he walked. Jeonghan tried his best not to worry, after all, it was a dream and he was going to wake up from it anyway.

"Joshua!" Jeonghan couldn't help but call out. No response. "Joshua!" he shouted again. He knew he was getting desperate.

It was especially harder to maneuver through the forest in the dark given that it wasn’t from his memories and the only source of light he had was the aurora borealis that slowly paced above him in the skies.

Knowing that soulmates shared dreams, it worried him that Joshua was out of his sight. Was it possible that the universe could take back what was given to him?

“No, no, no…” Jeonghan whispered to himself.

“Jeonghan!”

He turned to find Joshua a few miles away from where he was standing. He was still here. Joshua was still in his dreams.

Before he knew it, he was already running towards him. He ran faster than he thought he ever could, and so did Joshua. When they found each other, he instinctively grabbed and pulled him, holding onto him tightly as Joshua buried his face on his neck.

“Don’t go,” he panted.

When they pulled away, he realized that Joshua’s eyes were swollen from tears. He’d been looking for Jeonghan just as desperately. 

"Don't go," he repeated, wiping Joshua's damp hair off his face.

🌠🌠🌠

“Hey, are you okay?!”

Jeonghan instantly rose up from his bed, accidentally headbutting Jihoon who was hovering above him. They both winced and groaned at the bump of their foreheads, with Jihoon falling off the bed.

“Fuck.” Jihoon was on the floor, rubbing his forehead.

“What the hell was that for?” Jeonghan grunted. He had his hand touch his forehead and could already feel a bump forming. 

“What? Now it’s my fault? You were the one having a nightmare in your sleep! I thought you were dying or something, it scared me.”

Jeonghan thought about it. It really was one of his scariest dreams yet– to lose Joshua. He looked back at his pillow and realized it was damp with sweat.

“Was it… Joshua?” Jihoon asked in a small voice. Jeonghan nodded. "What happened?"

Jeonghan ran his fingers through his hair as he caught his breath. "I don’t know."

  
  


It was midterms season and the library was a lot more crowded than usual. In most cases, Jeonghan ended up sitting on the carpet at the corners of the library to study. He would allow Soonyoung to accompany him as long as he doesn't speak louder than a whisper, with the other trying his best not to.

This time, however, Jihoon rushed to the two of them. To their surprise, he sat down beside Soonyoung with his laptop in hand.

"What?" Jihoon asked after seeing their baffled faces.

Jeonghan shrugged. He was seated face to face with the two. "You hate studying in the library. Much more the floor."

Jihoon glanced at a confused-looking Soonyoung beside him then back at Jeonghan. "I have to ask you something. What did you say you saw? In your dreams, recently?"

Soonyoung's eyes widened. Jihoon asking Jeonghan about his dreams was the last thing he’d expected. "Whoa. What alternate dimension did I just wake up into?"

He faced Jeonghan, ignoring Soonyoung, and asked, "Well?"

"It was… night." Jeonghan quickly opened his own laptop, scrolling through his work. "And there were northern—"

"Lights? Please don't tell me that's what you've been seeing."

Jeonghan stopped, just in time until he found the latest artwork he's been finishing. It was the same drawing he was working on when Seokmin mentioned it was similar to Joshua's dreams recently.

Jeonghan turned his laptop to show it to them. Soonyoung had his mouth dropped, his eyes shifting between Jihoon and Jeonghan.

"What the fuck is going on?" Soonyoung asked.

Jihoon looked at Jeonghan solemnly. He knew something wasn't right.

"I read up on it," Jihoon started reading from a forum he had opened.  _ "In some occasions, losing a soulmate both in dreams and in real life is possible. A usual indication is seeing vivid colored skies, followed by a falling star." _

Jeonghan's heart dropped. Losing a soulmate. They stayed quiet for a while until Soonyoung spoke up. "Well… you haven't been dreaming of a falling star, right?"

Jeonghan shook his head. "No. Not yet."

"But… I mean it's the internet, right? Anyone could've written that." Soonyoung was grasping for words of encouragement, but even he sounded unconvinced. "Why would you even lose a soulmate? There's a reason they got paired up in the first place."

Jihoon spoke up. "He almost couldn't find Joshua in his last dream. It's all adding up, isn't it?"

Jeonghan nodded at Soonyoung. He felt it. Not finding Joshua instantly in the dream meant something, and as much as he hated to admit it, maybe Jihoon was right.

"It says that when the star loses its light, the dreams stop. Then parallel occurrences happen in real life. In this case, the guy who wrote this article stopped dreaming of his wife as soon as the star burned out. Then in real life, his wife asked for a divorce."

"Wait, wait, wait. How does he know all this?" Soonyoung asked.

"That's the thing." Jihoon pointed at Jeonghan and said, "There are more people like him who can remember dreams. We have to find this guy."

"More people like me?"

Jihoon nodded. "It's not a myth, it never was. It's an underground society."

"Holy shit," Soonyoung muttered. “So soulmates actually exist?”

“Soulmates actually exist,” Jihoon nodded silently. “Jeonghan, if you dream of a falling star, let us know. Okay?”

🌠🌠🌠

When Jeonghan woke up alone in tonight's dream, he was already bracing himself for his worst fears– the falling star.

It took him what felt like hours to find Joshua, walking through the empty streets of Seoul City and seeing him on top of a small apartment building.

"Jeonghan!" Joshua called down to him.

"Wait for me up there," Jeonghan said back. He wasn't exactly fond of heights but he forced himself to climb the fire exit ladder up 4 stories high so he could get to Joshua.

As soon as he got up the rooftop, he looked up to see him reaching out a hand to him. He grabbed it and allowed himself to be hoisted up from his grip. "It's getting harder to find you these days."

"Yeah…" he mumbled.

Joshua took his compass and started knocking on it. "I'm starting to think this one's broken." Jeonghan knew it wasn't. Their story was a ticking time bomb and Joshua had no idea. "Have you ever seen Seoul so quiet and empty? It's kinda fascinating."

Jeonghan looked over at the streets. The city was lit up but it was lifeless. He couldn't help but wonder how it would feel so similar if he stopped dreaming of Joshua.

"Are you not going to say anything?" Joshua tilted his head and tried to meet his eyes.

"I…" Jeonghan started. "Sorry. Last night kinda has me shaken."

"Right," Joshua mumbled. "I really thought you were gone."

_ Me too _ , Jeonghan thought.

They stared at each other for a few seconds until he noticed something caught Joshua's eye. He tilted his eyes up and Jeonghan followed what he was looking at. He felt his stomach dip. It was a falling star. The falling star that signaled he was about to lose him once its light faded.

It landed at the field right behind the rooftop they were in. "Come on," Joshua called him over, running to come down the ladder. It pained Jeonghan that he was clueless about what's to come.

When they got to the field, they hovered over the star. It was brighter up close that it pained him to look at it directly, both literally and figuratively.

"It's kinda beautiful, isn't it?" Joshua asked. Jeonghan gulped at the irony. To be honest, it really was beautiful. Combined with the vivid skies above them, it was far too beautiful than what Jeonghan could've imagined. And it was almost cruel that something that beautiful also meant the complete opposite of what's about to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was way overdue and im so sorry hhh i had a lot on my plate lately but i promise i'd finish this as well as the soonhoon endoftheworld au!!! anyway, thank you for reading :')
> 
> hit me up on [twt](http://www.twitter.com/howoozidan/) or [cc](http://www.curiouscat.me/howoozidan/)


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